Table of Contents
We’ve all been there—that sinking, stomach-twisting moment when you realize things aren’t going according to plan. Self-doubt creeps in, making every step feel heavier and every decision feel wrong. The good news? You’re not alone, and setbacks don’t have to define you. You can still achieve your personal goals despite these challenges.
In this article, I’m sharing seven strategies that I’ve used to help me move through self-doubt, take action, and believe in myself when things got tough. I’ll do this by walking you through a personal setback that felt insurmountable at the time—and showing you how I turned it into a lesson in resilience.
Understanding and Overcoming Self-Doubt and Setbacks

Self-doubt is that nagging inner voice that makes us question our abilities. It often pops up after a failure or when we’re trying something new. Self-doubt often keeps us within our comfort zone, preventing growth. Paired with setbacks—unexpected obstacles or moments when our plans fall apart—self-doubt can feel paralyzing.
But here’s the thing: setbacks aren’t the enemy. They’re opportunities to learn, grow, and build resilience. Recognizing the inner critic, that self-imposed standard leading to harsh self-judgment, is crucial for overcoming self-doubt. The fear of failure that often accompanies self-doubt is just a sign that we care about the outcome. The trick is to channel that energy into action and growth.
Identifying the Causes of Self-Doubt
Self-doubt can be a sneaky saboteur, creeping into our thoughts and making us question our abilities. To effectively overcome self-doubt, it’s crucial to understand where it stems from. Here are some common culprits:
-
Negative self-talk: Our inner dialogue plays a significant role in shaping our self-confidence. If you’re constantly telling yourself that you’re not good enough, it’s no wonder self-doubt takes hold. Transforming this negative self-talk into positive affirmations can make a world of difference.
-
Past experiences: Traumatic events, failures, or setbacks can leave lasting scars. These experiences can make us wary and hesitant, causing us to second-guess our abilities. Reflecting on these moments and understanding their impact can help us move forward.
-
Fear of failure: The fear of failing can be paralyzing. It can prevent us from taking risks and trying new things, leading to a cycle of self-doubt. Embracing failure as a learning opportunity can help break this cycle.
-
Lack of self-awareness: Not knowing our strengths, weaknesses, and values can lead to uncertainty. When we’re unclear about our goals and aspirations, it’s easy to doubt our abilities. Self-reflection and self-discovery are key to building self-confidence.
-
Comparison to others: In today’s social media age, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Remember, everyone has their own journey, and comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel is never fair.
A Personal Story: My Financial Setback at 36
Let me take you back to my 36th birthday this past February. I had one big goal: to pay off my student loans. My student loans have been an anchor to my life since I was 20 years old. I finally got to a place in my life where I could not only chip away at the loans consistently, but I also had a solid plan with a finish line. I was so close—just a few thousand dollars away. I’d been hustling hard and throwing every extra penny toward the debt.
But then reality hit like a freight train. As I reviewed my finances, I realized I was sinking deeper into debt. I was so aggressive with my student loan payments that it left me strapped for cash. So, I’d been relying on credit cards for essentials like groceries and gas. The numbers didn’t lie: I was moving backward, not forward.
The wave of self-doubt was overwhelming. I felt like a failure because I wasn’t going to reach my goal of paying off my student loans by my 36th birthday. At least, not without going further into debt. Questions swirled in my head: “Why didn’t I plan better? How could I let this happen? Am I ever going to get out of debt?” Financial setbacks can impact various aspects of our lives, affecting our mental health, relationships, and overall well-being.
But instead of giving up, I reassessed and implemented a new plan. Self-compassion and self-love played crucial roles in overcoming this challenge. By nurturing self-love, I was able to rebuild my confidence and tackle my financial issues with a positive mindset. Here’s how I found strength during that setback—and how you can, too.
7 Ways to Find Strength in the Setback

1. Reframe the Narrative
At first, I saw my financial setback as proof of failure. But then I shifted my perspective: this was a wake-up call, not the end of the road. I began journaling about the lessons I could learn—like the importance of balancing loan payments with day-to-day expenses.
Try this: Write down one positive thing your setback taught you. Even if it’s small, it can change how you see the situation.
2. Lean on Support Systems
Admitting I was struggling felt embarrassing, but I opened up to a close friend. They reminded me that setbacks are temporary and helped me brainstorm a better financial plan. This also tied into reframing the narrative. They made me ask questions I normally wouldn’t ask if I were trying to tackle this alone.
Try this: Reach out to someone you trust. A fresh perspective can make a world of difference.
3. Break Down Big Goals
Paying off my entire student loan felt impossible. So I broke it down into smaller, more manageable goals. I created a budget that prioritized both debt repayment and living expenses.
Try this: If a goal feels overwhelming, focus on the next small step. Progress adds up.
4. Practice Self-Compassion
For days, I beat myself up over the situation. But then I realized: berating myself wasn’t helping. I started practicing self-compassion by reminding myself that I was doing the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time.
Try this: Replace negative self-talk with kindness. For example, instead of “I’m so bad with money,” try “I’m learning how to manage my finances better.”
5. Celebrate Small Wins
When I finally got back on track and made some progress, I celebrated with a small treat (within budget, of course!). Recognizing small wins kept me motivated to stick to my plan.
Try this: Keep a journal of your progress, no matter how small. Success builds momentum.
6. Challenge Negative Thoughts with Positive Self Talk
Self-doubt loves to tell us we’re not enough. I challenged these thoughts by focusing on facts: I’d already paid off a significant portion of my loan, and I had the tools to fix my finances.
Try this: When self-doubt creeps in, ask yourself, “Is this thought based on fact or fear?”
7. Find Inspiration in Others
I read stories of people who overcame massive debt and setbacks. Learning from those who have achieved similar goals inspired me to believe in myself again.
Try this: Seek out books, podcasts, or articles that share stories of triumph. They’ll remind you that you’re not alone and success is possible.
Taking Control of Your Life

Taking control of your life is a powerful step towards overcoming self-doubt and achieving your goals. Here are some strategies to help you take the reins:
-
Set clear goals: Having clear, achievable goals gives you direction and purpose. Break down your big goals into smaller, manageable steps. This not only makes them less daunting but also helps you track your progress and celebrate small wins along the way.
-
Practice self-reflection: Regular self-reflection helps you understand your strengths, weaknesses, and values. It allows you to identify areas for improvement and develop strategies to overcome self-doubt. Journaling or meditating can be great tools for self-reflection.
-
Develop a growth mindset: Embrace challenges and view failures as opportunities to learn and grow. A growth mindset helps you believe that your abilities can be developed through effort and learning. This shift in perspective can significantly reduce self-doubt.
-
Surround yourself with positive influences: The people you surround yourself with can greatly impact your self-confidence. Seek out supportive, positive individuals who encourage and uplift you. Their positivity can help counteract self-doubt.
-
Take action: Taking action, even small steps, can build momentum and confidence. Each step you take towards your goals reinforces your belief in your abilities. Remember, progress is progress, no matter how small.
By implementing these strategies, you can take control of your life, build self-confidence, and overcome self-doubt. Remember, the journey to self-confidence is a marathon, not a sprint. Be patient with yourself and celebrate every step forward.
Integrating These Practices and Self Reflection Into Your Life
Recovering from a setback doesn’t happen overnight. Most people struggle with integrating new habits into their lives. It’s about building habits that keep you moving forward, even when self-doubt lingers. Start small—pick one strategy from this list and commit to practicing it this week.
Most importantly, remember that setbacks don’t define you. They’re part of the journey, not the destination. Taking control of your own life is crucial to overcoming self-doubt and making meaningful changes.
Final Thoughts
Looking back on my financial setback, I realize it wasn’t a failure—it was a turning point. It taught me to approach my goals with balance, self-compassion, and a willingness to learn.
If you’re facing self-doubt right now, know this: you have the strength to overcome it. Believe in yourself, take action, and trust that every step—even the small ones—bring you closer to your goals.
So, what’s your next step? Try one of these strategies today and see where it takes you. And remember, you’ve got this.
Share This Article
Related Articles
The Positive Ripple Effects of Becoming You: Discover Your Breakthrough in Subtle Actions
The “Ripple Effect” illustrates how our personal transformations can create widespread change within our lives. Just as a pebble creates ripples in water, our journeys...
Read More7 Powerful Ways to Navigate Self-Doubt and Find Strength
We’ve all faced moments when self-doubt creeps in, making every decision feel heavy and every step feel wrong. But setbacks don’t have to define you....
Read MoreThe Best Morning Routine to Boost Your Productivity and Well-Being
How you start your morning sets the tone for the rest of your day. A well-structured morning routine can enhance productivity, improve mental clarity, and...
Read More30 Inspiring Gratitude Journal Prompts That Will Transform Your Life
Gratitude journaling is a transformative practice that can shift your mindset and enhance your overall well-being. By taking just a few moments each day to...
Read More