We all know that setting long-term goals is the easy part—actually achieving them is where the real challenge lies. Life has a way of throwing obstacles in our path just when we start to make progress. Whether it’s unexpected setbacks, a lack of motivation, or simply the daily grind wearing us down, these hurdles can make even the most determined among us question whether our goals are worth the effort. But here’s the good news: overcoming these obstacles is possible, and with the right strategies, you can keep moving forward, no matter what stands in your way. Let’s dive into the obstacle I had to overcome and some practical tips I used to help me conquer those challenges, stay on track to achieve my long-term goals and acquire new life skills.
My story
Embarking on a journey to overcome obstacles and achieve long-term (as well as short-term) goals often begins with a wake-up call—one that shakes us from complacency and propels us towards action. For me, that moment came in the sterile confines of a doctor’s office in 2021.
At just 31 years old, I found myself confronted with a stark reality: his blood pressure was dangerously elevated, a silent harbinger of potential health woes ahead. Initially dismissive, I adopted a lackadaisical approach, brushing off medical advice and neglecting his own well-being.
But life has a way of delivering reminders, and eighteen months later, I found myself back in that same room, facing a diagnosis that sent shockwaves through my world. Stage 1 hypertension, high cholesterol, prediabetes, and Stage 2 chronic kidney disease—a cascade of health concerns that demanded attention.
Yet, amidst the daunting prognosis, I discovered a reservoir of resilience within myself. Refusing to succumb to despair, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and transformation, guided by what I now term “The Law of R.O.A.R.”
Today I’ll share how this methodology became my guiding light, propelling me towards recovery and renewal. Through the lens of his chronic kidney disease journey, I’ll illuminate the power of mindset shifts, the importance of setting audacious goals, and the vital role of self-motivation in overcoming adversity.
What Is The Law of R.O.A.R.?
A lion can roar for many reasons. Those reasons can be to display their health, power. This is how we should react when we come face to face with obstacles. We shouldn’t tuck our tails or crawl into isolation until we feel safe again. We should develop a fixed mindset and practice self-motivation to thwart any negative thoughts.
The Law of R.O.A.R gives us the framework to build self-confidence, stay motivated, and have a better understanding of the tough times ahead.
Here are the steps:
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Receive the information
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Orient Yourself
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Adapt to Your New World
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Regain Your Confidence
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Overcoming a setback is scary, I know. What mitigates that fear is having a detailed plan you abide by that helps you stay focused through unique obstacles. Ultimately, you’ll gain a transformative perspective and the ability to handle future setbacks. Now, let’s go back to the doctor’s office.
How Can You Use The Law of R.O.A.R. To Achieve Success?
Motivation is a powerful driving force that propels you towards your long-term goals with greater speed and efficiency. It plays a crucial role in both your personal and professional life, influencing your ability to stay focused and productive. Without motivation, you may struggle to overcome obstacles, and progress toward your goals can become slow or even stall. While having a support network is valuable, relying solely on others to keep you motivated isn’t sustainable. You need to cultivate self-motivation, a vital life skill that enables you to maintain your focus on the bigger picture.
When pursuing long-term goals, it’s easy to get bogged down by short-term challenges and distractions. This is where self-motivation becomes essential—it helps you stay concentrated on your objectives and reminds you of the importance of each step you take. By linking your daily tasks to your broader life goals, self-motivation allows you to see how your efforts contribute to your overall success. This perspective not only enhances your commitment to your long-term goals but also improves your ability to develop new skills along the way. Ultimately, self-motivation empowers you to overcome obstacles, maintain momentum, and achieve the lasting success you desire.
Receive The Information
The doctor’s news left me unable to describe my feelings.
All I know is I had a laser focus, soaking in every word she said about my options. When receiving bad news, some people zone out. Others are in denial about what’s happening.
Some people ignore the information altogether. This is a pivotal step in the process because it sets the foundation for what’s coming. Will you be angry? Sad? Disappointed? Discouraged? Sure, these are all natural emotions that arise when dealing with difficult situations.
It is crucial that we do not allow these emotions to dictate our actions. Take a breath, receive the information, and react with the facts rather than emotions.
There’s a fourth response we do when facing adversity, and it’s arguably the worst response you could have. We accept the information. Accepting the information (similar to receiving the information) is the worst response because we quit before we can start our comeback.
I’ve said this in other articles; one of the most harmful things I ever convinced myself was, “This is my new normal.” Instead of receiving the information as an ongoing fact, we tend to treat it as if it’s etched in the history books. Again, take a breath, receive the information, and move on to the next step.
Orient Yourself
Practice positive thinking to see the bigger picture.
I was on autopilot from the doctor’s office to the car. In the car, I sat, replaying everything in my head. Once I collected my bearings, I headed straight to Google. However, that was short-lived because I didn’t know what I was looking for.
*SIDE NOTE*
If your major setback is health-related, please do not rely heavily on Google. Reasons being:
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There’s a lot of misinformation out there
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Different countries have different standards
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In desperate times, we find information that fits what we want to hear
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We discover the worst-case scenario, which isn’t good for our morale
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I called my wife, as I couldn’t think of anything else to do. There was silence on the phone, then she said, “Okay, we’ll talk about it when you get home.” She cried for ten days straight after that. She would shower me with kisses and hugs (way more than usual).
She would deliberately express how much she loved me. Anything I wanted; she had no problem with doing. At first, I was loving the special treatment. Then I realized she was treating me like I could die at any moment. That’s when I knew I needed to make a change.
It can be difficult, but you must break down your mountain obstacle into tasks of 2-3 questions for you to answer to orient yourself.
Mine looked something like this:
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What is my current circumstance?
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What is my desired circumstance?
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What do I need to do to get there?
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My hypertension is damaging my kidneys (current circumstance). I need to regulate my blood pressure and salvage what’s left of my kidneys (desired circumstance) by changing my diet, exercising regularly, and, ultimately, losing weight (my system).
It’s always easier said than done, but by orienting positive thinking to yourself and devising a plan, you can see how that is so much better than saying, “This is my new normal.”
Adapt To Your New World
Set achievable goals to boost motivation.
In storytelling, no matter the genre, the first 10-20% of the story introduces the audience to the characters and how they operate in their everyday lives. Around the 25% mark is where the inciting incident happens. This is when external factors (usually unforeseen) occur and disrupt the main character’s status quo. The story moves forward with the main character facing challenges in a new world, attempting to solve a unique problem.
Sound familiar?
Replace the fictional character with yourself. What was the inciting incident in your life? Could it be the day you learned about your partner’s infidelity? At the end of a shift, when you suddenly lose your job. The phone call you received when someone you loved lost their life. You can experience an inciting incident in your story at any moment, and life will challenge you to figure it out.
For me, the inciting incident was getting the KCD diagnosis. My new world involved me going in a new direction. I had to switch my medication for the third time, go on a strict diet that limited my food choices and calorie intake, and implement a specific workout regimen.
The new world is scary. It’s uncomfortable. And if I’m being blunt, it downright sucks. But this is our chance to stay accountable, embrace the change and supercharge our internal drive.
Dealing with Setbacks Within The Setback
There’s no doubt that you will have setbacks within your setbacks on your journey to claim success.
This can be in the form of missed milestones, self-doubt, or even skipping a day of your daily habits. When this happens, it may seem like you’re wasting your time or starting over, but that’s not the case.
Let’s return to my goals of regulating my blood pressure and losing weight. There would be weeks when my blood pressure was good, and I was steadily losing weight. Occasionally, having a cheat meal would throw off my blood pressure for days.
I thought to myself, “I can’t live like this.” Another time, I had plateaued on losing weight. I couldn’t get below 176 lbs (80 kg). I stayed at that weight for weeks and even gained weight at times.
So, what do we do when we hit a setback within a setback?
The first thing you don’t do is panic. In fact, this is an indication that you’re on the right path. When you plateau and feel you aren’t progressing, that implies that what you did yesterday isn’t challenging for you anymore. It’s time to readjust the system you have in place to overcome your setback.
When I wasn’t losing weight, I had to increase my workouts significantly. If you feel bad for missing a daily habit, it’s because you’re becoming the person you want to be. Missing a day seems abnormal to you now.
To conquer a setback within a setback, simply shift an inch to the right. That’s it. We must put our toe over the line to reaffirm our goals and motivation. When I was stuck at 176 lbs, losing 3 lbs didn’t trigger my motivation. It was when I jumped on the scale and saw 175.78 lbs (approx 79.9 kg). That’s all it took!
Once I saw I could break the threshold, I knew there was nothing that would stop me from reaching my big goal. Celebrate your small wins, too.
Building a Support Team
NO ONE can overcome setbacks alone.
I had to start off strong because I can’t stress this point enough. We need a support team. My wife was my rock, and she made sure I stayed on track, no matter how annoying she could be. We need someone to hold us accountable.
You don’t have to tell them your setback, but you can tell them your goals. They become firm once you tell them your goals (and, more importantly, how you plan to achieve them), and you’re more likely to make achievable goals and seek support to accomplish them. But you must be highly selective when sharing this information.
Often, people in our lives will deliberately or unknowingly sabotage us. That doesn’t mean everyone is out to get us. It just means everyone doesn’t see our vision as clearly as we can. If there’s no one in your life to fill that role or you’re not comfortable, I have great news for you.
With the internet, you can connect with thousands of people and choose your communication partners. Discover many communities and support groups where you can find like-minded individuals for mutual accountability. You’re in one right now.
Regain Your Confidence
This is where you get your swagger back.
At this point, there’s still some distance between you and the finish line, but there’s no doubt that you will cross it. After all the doctor visits, diet modifications, changes in medication, and revamping my workouts, I finally found my rhythm.
It took a year of falling, getting up, tweaking, falling again, trying to create something new, making progress, becoming stagnant, and breaking through the threshold to get to a place where I’m finally at peace.
The fantastic part about regaining your confidence is that now you want to test your limits. You’re aware of your newfound strength since the inciting incident, and now you’re eager to push your limits.
Also, if a minor setback occurs, you don’t crumble. You apply the Law of R.O.A.R., and you keep moving forward. What once was a daunting task of planning and mental preparedness is now a ten-minute adjustment period. You have your systems in place, and if need be, you can move the goalpost.
I wanted to reach 165 lbs by my birthday (February 2), but I could only get down to 166 lbs. Did I curl into a ball and complain that I was a failure because I missed my mark? Heck no! I just slightly adjusted and said I’ll hit 165 in my birthday month. See? I didn’t even have to go through all the steps of R.O.A.R. to come to that conclusion.
I have a great system, so I can confidently do that, and you can too.
Conclusion
Roaring is courageous. Our purpose is to show our own self-motivation and perseverance despite setbacks. When you R.O.A.R., you’re taking control of your life and saying, “This isn’t going to defeat me.” When you:
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Receive the information
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Orient Yourself
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Adapt to Your New World
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Regain Your Confidence
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You’re taking a smart, strategic approach to overcoming obstacles and achieving your long-term goals. I’ve been there too, and I can tell you firsthand—setbacks aren’t roadblocks; they’re stepping stones that lead to growth and transformation.
I’d love for you to join our community of like-minded people who are all about growth, resilience, and learning essential life skills. Together, we can support each other in reaching our goals and navigating any challenges that come our way.
So, let’s keep the conversation going! Share your thoughts, experiences, and insights in the comments below, and don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter for more tips on overcoming obstacles and staying on track with your goals.